I Can't Lose You

I'm staring frozen at the messenger screen. My mind and heart a storm of emotions as I try to find the words. Not so long ago we shared our feelings for each other... we talked about our chances... making love. I bared myself intimately to you. My past, my very thoughts and desires, now all known to you.

And when you dropped that bomb on me today I felt my heart heavy in anguish. We knew our feelings, and we knew our limitations. But for you to decide so suddenly to give yourself for fun...

No. I could not bare the thought. I felt the world crumble around me, trapped in the circumstances. I wanted to lose everything! Everything but you. In my devastation it became clear to me how much my love and desire for you has taken over. I have become wrapped up in this fantasy to the point where it is my reality. I couldn't standby helplessly as I lose the one thing I need the most - you.

Sub-consciously I have been making decisions about my life and career all so that you could be proud of me and so I can devote more time to you. You who has gradually taken my world by storm with your passion. Our limitations... I don't care anymore. This is what I want. You are what I need. And I can not bear the thought of losing you.